Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Year Without Christmas

There was only one week until Christmas and everyone was hurrying around to get their last minute Christmas shopping done. Every mall in the world was packed with mothers, daughters, fathers, and grandparents. The stores each had huge blow out sales, 20% off, 30%, and off 50% off. The most popular store in the mall just so happened not to be a store at all. The line to get into Santa’s Workshop was wrapped around the mall once and almost twice. In the line there were children of all ages with their parents waiting patiently and were all elated. The workshop was decorated with white snowflakes. There were presents wrapped and tied with bows of all sorts of colors, blue, purple, pink, red, and green. Outside of the workshop stood a small girl the size of an elf dressed to look like an elf. Hanging on the front door of the mini house was a sign that read, THE NORTH POLE! Yes this was Santa’s house or what all the children thought was.
Up at the North Pole where Santa really lives it was busier than ever. Everyone was very garrulous and excited for Christmas. Every elf old and young work long and hard hours in Santa’s workshop. They were all zealots about Christmas. The elves made Barbie’s, trains, airplanes, baby dolls, and so many more toys that each child had on their list. As the elves worked downstairs Santa Clause was upstairs getting ready for what he had been preparing 365 days for.
“No Santa the belt needs to be over the vest, and tuck you're shirt in. Don’t forget to comb your beard, and would you please wipe the cookie crumbs off your face.”
“Now Mrs. Clause its not Christmas yet don’t worry yourself. I’m just checking out how I look in my new red suit” Santa said looking in to the mirror inside his room. He was wizened and old but still had a puerile heart.
“You look mighty fine Santa”
“I can’t believe Christmas is in only one week there is still so much to do and I still need to test my sleigh. Where did all the time go?”
“You had 365 days to get this ready Santa.”
Actually 366 days Mrs. Clause. It was a leap year this year” chimed in Christina, Santa’s personal helper.
“I'm going to go check out my new sleigh,” said Santa.
“It’s about time you did some work around here. Go. Shoo,” said Mrs. Clause in a jocular way.
So Santa happily walked down to the stable where the reindeer were. He said hello to each reindeer and walked over to the box that held his new sled. Benny the elf was there putting the final touches onto Santa’s sleigh.
“Oh hello there, Santa. Here let’s get you into your new sled. Up you go.” Benny was infallible and always came through for Santa, one of his best elves. He then carefully helped Santa into his sled. He showed him the buttons to press to start and stop the sled. Santa then pulled the red lever and away he went. H took off into the sky towards the clouds. The sled was working perfectly just as Santa hoped. All of a sudden, Santa heard a loud clang in the back. He quickly spun around to see what happened. As he did this he accidentally pushed the emergency stop button and the sled went tumbling down to the ground spinning out of control. The sled landed with a loud thud and Santa was gone forever.
“This is Breaking News here at the studio. Santa Clause has just been reported dead this afternoon. He had an unfortunate sleigh test ride and died. Elves are investigating but until then no one knows what will become of Christmas. Will there even be a Christmas?”
The fact of Santa’s death was not surrepitious. It flashed across every television screen in the world. Children stared crying parents jaws dropped. Would there be a Christmas this year, is the question that was on everyone’s minds.
It was just as crazy up in the North Pole as on everyone else around the world. One person unparticular was very worried about what was going to become of Christmas. It was Mrs. Clause. That day Mrs. Clause heard a small knock on her bedroom door.
“Come in please,” she said in a welcoming manner.
“Hello Ms. Clause”, said the man in the doorway.” My name is Tim Fandonburg.”
“Yes hello Tim. I know you, you are my grandson. Come in and take a seat young Tim.”
Tim was indeed Mr. and Mrs. Clause’s grandson. Their daughter Olivia had had a son names Tim and here he was at Mrs. Clause’s bedroom door.
“I heard of your great loss of your husband and come right over to offer my help. It sounds to me that you are in need of a new Santa Clause. Am I right?”
“Yes we are. Go on.”
“I feel like I am the next one in line to be Santa Clause. You see I am his grandson and I will do whatever there is that needs to be done in the next six days to be sure that Christmas runs just as smoothly as if Santa were here.”
Mrs. Clause thought only for a moment and then said: “Of course Tim we would be happy to have you as our new Santa.”
Tim took to the roll of Santa quite quickly. Tim ordered that Santa’s new suit was tailored to fit him and that the colors on the suit were black and orange instead of red and white. He relegated most of the elves from making toys. He only hooked up five of the reindeer to the sleigh and decided not to take Rudolph. Tim asked for only carrots and celery instead of cookie and milk. With these new rules Tim began to provoke the elves. He was not like the real Santa Clause and everyone loathed Tim.
The next day at lunch the elves went to Mrs. Clause and complained about Tim.
“I’d like to advocate for the elves but we can not have Tim as out Santa it’s just no right.”
“I concur. The children need a genial and magnanimous Santa Clause.
“How will the children react when they get no presents, even the ones on the good list?”
“Tim needs to be out, but who will replace him?” All eyes went to Mrs. Clause.
“No I can not possibly take on the role as Santa I am a woman and just can’t.” said Mrs. Clause trying to mollify the elves.
“But the children. They need you to!”
Finally Mrs. Clause agreed she kindly told Tim that he was no longer going to be Santa Clause and took the Santa suit from him. Tim then stormed out of the workshop with such a temper. When the door closed behind him all the elves cheered. A new suit was made for Mrs. Clause and all the reindeer were hooked onto the sleigh. The toys were loaded onto the sleigh. They Mrs. Clause stepped into the sleigh. She pulled on the reigns and away she flew.
“Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!”



  2. The conflict of the story was that Santa Claus died after testing his sleigh about 2 weeks before Christmas! It was resolved when Mrs. Claus took over the position. I was very upset when that happened and i was happy when mrs. claus took over. It would have been very dramatic if there was no replacement.
    mrs. claus in the beginning is very demanding and takes control. she just wants everything to run smoothly. but when there is no more santa, she has to take control of herself. If mrs. claus didnt change and become santa, there wouldnt be a santa.
    I liked the part when mrs. claus became the new santa. this took place during the resolution. I thought the best quality of this story was the characters and the conflict. I also thought there was a very nice story arc.
    I liked your story alot.

  3. The conflict was Santa died and they needed a new Santa because it was a week before Christmas! It was resolved when Mrs. Clause took part in being Santa. It could have been more dramatic if Tim really did become Santa. The reader would have more to wonder about.
    I really liked the story itself. (Sabree: This made me feel like a kid again! i miss stories like this!) It was a well written cartoon-ish story.
    The story's best quality was the setting. I liked how you described the mall and how the place was bustling with business.
    The story's theme is things can always be solved, even in the worst of times.
    No revisions to be done, I really like your story Sabree!

  4. 1.The conflict was that santa had dies and they needed to replace him. The resolution is that Mrs. Clause takes his place. I was invested in the resolution because Tim turned out to be evil.
    2. Mrs. Clause's personality doesn't change much. That is an element that you could add to the story.
    3. My favorite part of the story is actually when santa dies.
    "The sled landed with a loud thud and Santa was gone forever."
    I like this because i thought it was written well. It got the point across without getting into details, which in this situation is good.
    4. The story's best quality is plot. It has a clear plot and the resolution is satisfying. Also, it has a twist. Yu think the story is resolved but then it isn't.
    5. The story's theme is that people are not always who they appear to be.
    6. Well you have quite a few typos so i would suggest proofreading it. Also, there could be a little more character development, it sounds a little choppy and developing characters could make it sound smoother. But i love the idea, and the picture. hahaha.